The Babies Ate My Brain

It's true. There is actual, scientific evidence to support my claim. Okay, well maybe babies don't physically consume your brain matter, but they absolutely do shrink a woman's brain size. Remember that the next time you roll your eyes at some poor soccer mom who can't remember her husband's employer. Or name.

I have no pride about how dumb I've become. What I've lost in memory and common sense, I make up for in the incredible capacity to operate on an 8-month sleep deficit and the uncanny ability to imitate each and every Sesame Street character in a single silly song.

Be jealous.

One of these days I'm going to sit down and write up a top ten list of fantastically awesome MOM-ents, or just compile them all and make a funny little eBook for posterity's sake. But for now, I thought I'd give you a little Tuesday giggle with some terrific moments.

  • I went to work wearing my pajama cami, a thin cardigan and a pair of pants. And nothing else. That's right, ladies. I graced my office as a braless wonder. And that cami...not particularly, um, modest. And my office is, um, cold.
  • Yesterday I walked out of the bathroom with my skirt tucked firmly into my underwear. My big tan, practically granny comfort gutchies. And I didn't figure it out before someone else did.
  • Last week after I grossed out a new team member (whom I've never met in person) by telling her that babies eat brains, and then tried to explain away the grossness by referring to unborn children as tiny little interuterine zombies. Using the word "uterus" at work is apparently a professional faux pas. What do I know? I walk around with my butt hanging out.
  • After a bath and getting all lubed up with yummy lavender lotion, I got my beautiful little girl all dressed in her jammies and put her to bed...with no diaper.
  • So there are these two girls named Staci at work and for weeks I've been talking to them. We've never met in person because my team all works across the country. Anyway, just today I was thinking about them and answering emails and chatting with them and it hit me...they're the same person. Coworker fail.
  • And don't even talk to me about the Fancy Feast commercial that had me weeping (WEEPING). And the key change in Taylor Swift's "Romeo & Juliet".

And dads get these moments too, don't forget (just not nearly as severely as moms). Last week Sean found a bunch of sand on sale and he almost bought it to make the iToddler a sandbox. Thank goodness he quickly realized it wasn't play sand, but jointing sand. Can you imagine?

There are so many more stories, and I'm sure I'll add more to the list all the time. I'm pretty sure it's a requisite trait to be able to laugh at yourself as a parent, and it's one trait I hope I never lose.

Until the next time, keep on smiling!

Role Model

Drama Queen

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